I resent my husband because he won’t find a new job?

BitterSweet Answered:
Why didn't you find a man that fulfilled you expectations?
You married this guy knowing how he was and yet here you are one year later married to him.
Resentment won't get you anywhere, you chose the guy… pay the consequences.

evil kewpie Answered:
you clearly don't want the same things. you may need to consider letting him go. if he won't man up, then you need to move on. unless you are okay with being the breadwinner and he's mr. mom, you are not with the right person. good luck, sweetie.

Nboy Answered:
I think you both need to communicate more on this issue as it is very important for family to feel more secured financially.

santobugito Answered:
Looks like you married him because of his job and the life you wanted him to provide you. Not one thing about loving HIM, just the money. Get yourself a better job, move out and have all the benefits you want for yourself.

Jennifer H Answered:
I refuse to believe you have an undergrad degree.Or is English not your first language?If so, I apologize.

DM Answered:
I think you need to find out if he if he is happy.

If you want more money. Go make more.

My husband has an engineering degree. He is a pilot. Why? Because that makes him happy. It does not pay as well but life is BIG.

Maybe you are chasing the dream od stuff and acquiring when you should be looking at what makes you happy.

June Answered:
Why are you calling him lazy. Hes working and just maybe he likes what hes doing. Who are you to say he should be earning more money . If your got such a good job and your not happy with him then leave and look after your self because it seems all i read is in you marriage is how muchmoney you should have. You need to bring yourself back to earth as it seems like you think your **** dont stink.

fabulous hair india Answered:
I have so been there!We were younger.We had just graduated from college.My husband has a BS in engineering.I have a degree in Music education.I finally took a job that I knew I would hate, but he refused to find a decent job.He interviewed.I sent out his resume and told him where to call for follow ups, the whole deal.He was a live in babysitter.I earned all the money, did all the housework, took care of the baby, did all the shopping, cooked, etc.It was exhausting and I hated him.All the while he kept promising to find better work.I kicked him out and let him come back under the condition that he meet with a military recruiter.I didn't think he would join, but I was hoping he would take something away from the meeting.

It's been over six years and he couldn't be happier in the Army.He did a direct entry program for officers and I have no complaints.In fact, the Army is paying for a master's degree for him right now.

Juicy Answered:
this obviously is not about a job or benefits. why dont you be a good friend and find out what exactly is going on with him. earning an mba can be quite an accomplishment, one that he very well may have never expected to achieve. now that he has it maybe he does not know what is next and is stuck or in a rut. instead of complaining about him not doing all the things you expect or want why dont you put it aside and focus on him.

Orange County Ca Answered:
Some people are just lazy – there is no complicated explanation.

As long as you pay the bills he'll continue on his way.Since you've been married for only one year and didn't mention children my suggestion is that you move out telling him that you'll be back after he has been working full time at a job which meets your expectations for at least 6 months.If he has not started employment within 6 months of your ultimatum then you file for divorce.

Happy2Help Answered:
Give him time…He's a achiever, things are bad right now.Remember, you have so much time…Don't feel bad about reminding him every now and then that you two have goals.Don't pester him about it, but keep the thought in his thinking cap.

irishmom91562 Answered:
A man should ALWAYS earn more than his wife, regardless of how much she earns. It is the man's responsibility to pay all of the bills as well as support a wife and children in the highest style possible. It is also the man's responsibility to provide health care benefits for his family. Sure, the wife can carry secondary insurance for coordination of benefits, but the bottom line is that the MAN needs to be the BREADWINNER.

The man you're married to sounds like he became complacent while on unemployment and started to enjoy not having to go to work every day. The job he has now may be one that doesn't require much by way of effort.

You are correct – someone with your husband's education should be making 100K or more per year, and you should be able to have a child and stay at home with the child, if you so choose, until the child or children start full day school. This is simply what a man should do.

You need to see a marriage counselor in order to decide with your husband if he will do what it takes to save the marriage, or if you need to give yourself the opportunity to meet a man who will allow you to abide by what is a very reasonable long-term life plan.

J Answered:
I really do not understand your expectations. The job market is definitely not what it used to be, so many people are having to go back to school to get new degrees and need to add this on a already massive pile of student loans.

Just because you have a degree doesn't mean you're going to even get a job related to it, let alone a decent job. What did you expect when you married him? DId you assume he would instantly be able to shoot up in the high salaries?

I think it is best for both of you to end this marriage. You don't seem to realize what is important in life. If the only reason you didn't leave him was because you thought he could get a "real job again" then you obviously didn't marry him for love. When you marry you vow to be with him for richer or for poorer, in good times and in bad.

I myself have a fianc who isn't where I am even though he is older and I do not have a problem with this. I think that if we can live on what we're making then that is all that matters. We don't care about pulling in big salaries and retiring in our 50's.

You also seem to be blaming him a lot. You say that he isn't finding ways to make money so that you can't live comfortably, married life can be really rocky when your both trying to find income. It isn't about whether or not you'll be living comfortable. There is always sacrifices that you will need to make when your spending money and if you feel this constant resentment towards him then it won't help anything.